I never thought I would ever see it but it actually snowed here today in Buenos Aires. It’s a holiday so most people are off from work and I was going to play Nueve de Julio in honor of the day. But when I picked up the bandoneón it started to snow. I couldn’t believe my eyes, so I had to go outside to walk around and enjoy the snow. Having lived in SF before I came here, it had been a while since I saw snow and it was nice to walk around the empty streets of Buenos Aires with the flurries coming down. It reminds me that I need to get out of the city and get back to nature every so often…

Apparently it hasn’t snowed here in BsAs in a very long time. Most of my friends have never seen it snow here in the city before and some of them have been around for a while. Someone metioned that the last time was in 1918. If that’s really true, that’s pretty amazing.

Tonight I went to a concert featuring Roman Rosso’s composition Suite Paternal. He was supposed to be playing and premiering his composition tonight. But a collegue of Roman’s took his place due to Roman’s unexpected and untimely departure. Underneath the music I could hear Roman. I could hear how he would interpret the notes and how he would phrase certain parts of the music. I remember the numerous times we had spent in his studio talking about tango, music, differences in spanish and english language, rehearsing, listening to recordings, going through arrangements, making arrangements, always drinking mate, and sharing our love for music. He had talked about a composition he had been writing - Suite Paternal, what the name meant to him, what he was thiniking during each movements, etc. I remember him showing me his composition on his laptop, with enthusiasm, going through each movements and explaining the phrasing and how the laptop midi playback didn’t do it justice. He was always excited to show me & share with me any new arrangments he had been working on. I was always excited to see them but couldn’t appreciate it to its full extent at the time due to my limited knowledge of arranging. Now that I’ve started doing some transcriptions and trying my hand at arranging I can definitely relate to his enthusiasm. I always want to share with someone the latest thing that I am working on. I think fondly of those times and how much more I would be able to appreciate them now.

I have always believed that a musician lives on through his work. Eduardo Arolas was a great musician and composer. He left behind many great compositions and Roman was a big fan of Arolas. Arolas also passed away at a very young age. When we got together to rehearse we would spend the second part of the time writing new parts for the second bandoneon - me. We would try different things and see how it sounded when we played together. I really believe that he was starting to turn a new corner in arranging, coming up with many original arrangements and his own style/interpretation of tango. If you get a chance check out Roman’s arrangement of El Marne. I hope to someday continue his legacy by playing the arrangements that he left behind and dedicate it to him.

Those that are with us, whether it be in our minds, our hearts, or our music (our soul), they are never really gone. 

As it has been over one year since I’ve been here in Buenos Aires, I started to think about some of the things I miss about the SF Bay Area. Aside from New York City, San Francisco is one of the most diverse places I have lived. According to the 2006 census, 29.6 percent of the population of the Bay Area (the 9 counties surrounding the SF Bay) were foreign born. I think that being exposed to different cultures as a child affects how you think and view the world. Usually it allows you to think with a more open-minded mentality. For me foreign born demographics information is more interesting than ethnic demographics information and it’s the next best indicator to whether people have been exposed to different cultures.

Keeping with the diversity is the access to so many great cuisines of various nationalities. I had my favorite Thai, Indian, Sushi, Ethiopian, Fusion, etc, places. Places where I go for ice cream, deep dish pizza, crepes, noodle soup, kabob, and even the mobile tacco stand across from the climbing gym. About the only thing that I couldn’t find in my time living there was a good Portuguese restaurant. So, if you know of one, please send me an e-mail.

With diversity of world class cuisine comes the access to parts of various cultures through music, dance, and art. Free concerts in Stern Grove, Golden Gate Park, Dolores Park, etc. Various clubs and bars hosting local and traveling artists. The dance scene ranks among the top in the country in terms of argentine tango and salsa. Access to great martial arts instructions including capoeira. Various festivals going on throughout the year. The list goes on.

Of course everything comes with a price and not all is rosy. It’s practically cost prohibitive to actually live and own a property in San Francisco. And there are lots of other drawbacks too. But the one thing I miss the most is the access to diversity. Having lived in several places throughout the world I realize how unique that is and it’s something that should be embraced and celebrated.  

I had been subconsciously wondering what qualities makes a person beautiful. Yes I know, my mind is funny in that it wonders about things without me being consciously aware that I am wondering about it. But that’s another story. Anyways, the answer came to me at an open air milonga. Generally speaking, you seldom see people expressing their happiness at milongas, regardless of whether they are truly/genuinely happy or not. It’s difficult to describe the general atmosphere of a milonga if you’ve never been to one in Buenos Aires. It’s a mix of searching for that deep connection, projecting your status of coolness, trying to pick up unsuspecting ladies, working the tourist circuit, trying to get a fix if you haven’t had a good dance in a while, playing the game - waiting for the right moment to ask someone or waiting for that someone to ask you (depending on your gender), and a mix of whole lots of other stuff. Anyways, for whatever reason you seldom see a genuinely happy face that doesn’t try to conceal the happiness inside. So when I saw one on the dance floor, it quickly caught my attention and after a few seconds I came to realize that truly happy people are truly beautiful people. The light and energy coming out of their eyes and smile is something that is amazingly beautiful. I guess the difficult part is to find it within yourself to love yourself and be genuinely happy with who you are and where you are in life.

Being unemployed in a foreign country I am really feeling the effect of inflation. According to the a couple of articles in the Buenos Aires Herald, the inflation rate is supposed to hit around 12.7 percent this year. As a “resident” I feel it even when I go buy simple things like facturas or licuados at a cafe or a couple of slices of pizza. Fancy restaurants and grocery shopping? Definitely feel it more there. I remember in October 2005, an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet at my favorite cafe was 7 pesos which included a bottomless glass of orage juice/grapefruit juice, coffee, scrambled eggs, fruit salads, facturas, pancakes, fresh vegetables, various breads & crumb cakes, and the list goes on. Nowadays it’s topping over 15 pesos and the selections have been reduced. My rent has jumped up 25% from last year. Gone are the days of rent control of San Francisco :( It makes me wonder if the workforce here is getting the proper increase in thier salaries. Personally being officially unemployed, I’m definitely feeling the heat a bit more. I now have a deeper understanding and empathy for people on fixed income around the world. Little increases can really affect your lifestyle.

Having lived in 11+ cities in 6 different countries, each period of my life feels distinctly different than the others. Looking back it feels as if I was living in someone else’s body and living someone else’s life. Perhaps the fact that I was constantly changing and evolving (mindset, personality, interests, etc) attributes to this feeling. It’s almost as if the only thing we (the past me in different periods and the current me) have in common are the memories we share. I had downloaded Google Earth about a year ago. (A quick note - I am not affiliated with Google in any way). Last night out of boredom I launched it again and was amazed how detailed the resolution and how vast the coverage of the 2007 satellite images were. Flying through old neighborhoods and recalling the walks, the runs, the restaurants, my mindset at the time, my previous thoughts, places I often spend time reflecting, following the paths of some of my old routines… it was completely surreal. When I discover a new neighborhood I usually construct a mental spatial model of my favorite places within the neighborhood. Actually flying through the satellite images is like realizing this mental model. What an interesting way to reflect about the past!

As human beings we must have some sort of predisposition to seek connection. It came to me while pondering the thought of how nice it would be to have an orchestra (or play in an orchestra) that was so tight, we always play as one. I then realized that it was the feeling of connectedness that I love (or am addicted to). There have been times when I felt completely connected to everyone in the orchestra as if we were parts of a complex machine. The feeling of being connected when creating/expressing music is indescribable. I then started thinking about dancing and Argentine Tango. The most captivating part of it is that it’s a medium that allows you to be profoundly connected with another person on so many facets/levels. Then I thought about the emotion of being in love. At the very root of it, isn’t it just the feeling of being completely connected to someone on many levels? I discovered a while back from talking with someone that part of the draw to religion is the community. The feeling of being connected with other people within the community regardless of boundries, countries, and also being connected to people you don’t even know. Of course there’s also the desire of being connected to a higher power of some sort. in regards to technology, the internet is so popular because it allows us to be connected to other people and events around the world. The more I think about everything in life, it seems to boil down to the search for connection, usually with other souls (dead, alive, or somewhere in between). I have always joked that no man is an island but today I am starting to realize the magnitude of that truth.

So why is it that we seek connection?

One of the many reasons that I have always been captivated by Argentine Tango is the strong relationship between connection and movement. As a dancer I have always tried to unite the two so that they are completely indistinguishable. But like the chicken and the egg dilemma, which one comes first? Or rather which one do you focus on to enable the other. Do you use connection to facilitate movement or movement to facilitate connection? Before I was aware that there were two approaches I had always practiced the former. But as I thought about how and why it was easier for me to connect with some dancers rather than others I realized that most people choose the latter. Having this awareness has allowed me to adapt my approach and increase my enjoyment of a given night. 

A friend of mine who was visiting Buenos Aires commented how my tango dancing had changed and how I was playing with certain kinds of elements more than others. The comment made me realize that some things I do is out of necessity due to the lack of space and the complete unpredictability of the dance floor of the milongas and practicas I attend. It made me look at other people’s dancing in a different light. Particularly, the collective way of dancing of the younger generation in Buenos Aires. It’s interesting to think that maybe a major factor that people dance the way they do is out of necessity. Elsewhere in the world the environment may be different (in terms of music selection, space, and ambiance). These teachers then have a huge impact & influence on the general poplulation who take classes from them or aspire to dance like them.

From a dancer’s perspective, it’s interesting because of the added constraints to how you can interpret the music. For example, if you interpret the music to be flowy but the floor doesn’t flow then you need to find another way to make your dance flow, etc. Or from a viewer’s perspective of watching a performance of true social dancers and wondering why someone chooses to interpret certain pieces of music a certain way. Maybe they are just accustomed to dancing with a certain constraint that it’s in their blood. With the constraint taken away, it still affects how they interpret the music (or simply, some just aren’t aware that the constraint is not there anymore?).

It seems that the root of all of my stress is related to time. As I look back upon my life at all of the moments when I was completely stressed out, feeling the weight of the whole world on me, every one of these moments had to do with limited time. It’s odd to find myself being unemployed and be more stressed out than ever (due to lack of time for my various projects). I keep trying to remind myself that life is what you make it but somehow I continually find myself making it pretty stressful. I hope that my new awareness of the underlying reason will help me manage things better in the future. If only I had a better relationship with Father Time…

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